across the wire

I have a running joke with my friend Elisabeth that I am writing a book on "How To Be Like Sara Jane" so that Elisabeth can *improve* her life by being more like me.

A few friends and I have decided to co-author a book, my second book project: "Stupid Excuses, and the Parents Who Make Them." Sounds kind of catchy hey?! The concept came from swapping stories about having to deal with overprotective/underprotective/controlling/aloof etc. parents in our line of work (two teachers, a social worker, and a camp director make up the group). There are very many interesting stories about parents and the excuses they make on behalf of their child for what ever the child has done. There is the unbelieving parent - the one who denies that their child is capable of any bad behaviour and immediately asks to speak to a supervisor about the issue. There is the controlling parent who attempts to redirect any conversation about discipline or redirection into a conversation about how they should sit in the class room every day to monitor the teacher rather than the child. There are the condescending parents who are known to make comments like they were experts, directed to the experts on how to do a job right. Then there is the vindictive parent to boasts empty threat at whomever is brave enough to tell him or her that her child is a total brat.

We laughed for about 1/2 an hour just exchanging stories but the winner was the "unstable" parent - who upon finding out that her daughter was going to be in a cabin at camp with some younger aged girls than her, attempted almost all the said techniques. We called her the "all-in-one" parent. First she tried the condescending route, telling me that I did not know what the hell I was doing and pointing out ways in which I should not have this job (camp director), and urged me to think about all the ways that my inexperience was ruining camp for her daughter. She then tried crying on the phone, (literally crying) stating how stressful it was for her to know that her daughters camp experience was being ruined by some one so inconsiderate as myself. Then she tried to get a hold of my supervisor and she was not available, she told me that I should know better and she proceeded to tell me 10 different ways to do my job as if she had any experience herself. If that sounds like a pain in the ass, it was nothing compared to the time at the end of the week, having to hand this mother's child back in good spirits and the mom turning to me and saying "I always knew my daughter would have a good time at camp. I don't understand why you were making such a big deal about ages and cabin groups."

How do you take a line like that with grace? Rest assured, I let out several cuss words in private until I felt better. Writing this book is going to be easy with so many crazy parents out there.

What are you "most annoying parent stories?" Want to contribute to our book?